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Working on my Stuff: A Link Edition: Depression
I’ve had major resistance to posting about my personal life, but it’s through adversity that we learn, and I want to teach help you through your own. Please be respectful with this post.
I’ve spent much of the past week jumping between high motivation and that edge of depression I haven’t seen for years.
And I’ve been wonderfully supported via Twitter and Email, especially by Sonja and Elizabeth; who have gone out of their way to give me advice and lend a listening ear.
Resources
And in these times I’ve also reached for the ever-reliable Havi Brooks for common sense solutions and a sympathetic kick-start. I guess she’s been a resource of strength, because I didn’t know what else to do.
This week, she wrote a post of Havi-style business advice that had so many useful links in it, I spent 3 hours straight surfing (as you might notice by the amount of linkage here). I read and absorbed all that intellectual knowledge (application is the hard part, I find) and found myself in a place of support and self-belief.
She reminded me that:
* you can trust (certain) others to keep you afloat when you can’t seem to tread water
* the secret to success = perseverance + working on your stuff
* it’s possible to heal deep-seated hurt
* it’s never personal
* there is time. It’s okay not to own the procrastination-dissolve-o-matic-thingmy, even though I’m impatient and I want it; I can take my time
* I can (potentially) find value in every moment
* naming things totally helps
* one thing is enough
And in that final post, I found a link to Buddhism.
Conditionality
Havi writes: “Some one things work faster than other one things. But it’s not about trying to find the right one thing, because all the little one things add up anyway.”
This week in the Buddhist Ideas course I’m co-running, we looked at conditionality. We looked at the example of how Stress could be conditioned by:
- deadlines
- expectations
- poor health
- lack of exercise
- lack of sleep
- feelings overwhelm
- rumination
- bad relationships
- not-enough-time
- etc.
And we discussed how removing any ONE of those things, would make an impact. Without that extra stressor; our stress would diminish. Then we talked about how some of those link in. Thus, by exercising, we increase health [thus removing those two from the list].
Doing one thing really is worth it. And this week, I got out of bed as soon as my alarm went off on 4/5 mornings, and I got dressed. I drank water and I didn’t worry if I missed breakfast or didn’t wash my hair. I had a gentle cup of tea, and I did one thing at a time.
And I made it; it’s Saturday. That’s all that matters.
P.S. Apologies to Havi. You’re just so awesome. I love stalking your old posts, because they make me feel supported and understood. Thank you.
Comment Zen: This is my own process, we all have stuff, and please be respectful. Thankies.
I always support you even if I don’t have a lot to say
It’s only because I’m very rational and logical; like Spock. However, I encourage you to definitely keep going on your journey.
To respond to your tweet about not being able to be obvious with your spirituality. That’s okay because most outward stuff is facade and props
A good pen and a journal filled with lots of paper is all you really need. Everything else is helpful but not necessary. So when you can’t surround yourself with stuff for whatever reason; keeping a journal with you can keep you on your path. I think journals are the greatest things ever. Well… one of the greatest things ever.
Thank you. I always feel supported by you, no matter how much/little you do/say.
That’s true, but I guess it’s a challenge to live by my (spiritual & otherwise) values when they’re tested/countered by the poeple I live with. It’ll be a good challenge and I hope I’ll at least learn a bit about patience from it. And I agree that journal + pen = the most amazing things.
This is super sweet. And I love it.
You know, when I wrote some of those posts, it wasn’t clear at the time whether anyone would ever end up actually reading them. So the idea that time brings us all together with what we need is tremendously reassuring.
And yes to the conditioning thing.
Sending love.
Thanks. Well they’ve certainly helped me keep my head afloat this week, so yay for time and connecting.
I appreciate it.
Sending love back to you, Selma and your Gentleman Friend.
I have a hard time remembering that there is time. When really, I’m probably only 1/3 of the way through my life. Goodness. When I think of it that way, there is all the time in the world (sort of).
It seems like we learn the most from being tested/challenged, though I’d still mostly rather not be tested/challenged at all.
Sending lots of love to you.
I feel silly that I’m worrying about time as I’m only 19! I’m so afraid of starting a career when I know I can change it and i’m only.. 1/5? through my life.
I understand the power of adversity and I believe our most important times are when we overcome struggle; but that doesn’t mean we have to like it.
Thank you =)
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