I need to apologise, for I’ve abandoned you a little these last few weeks. I reached a state of mental health where I’d feel hunger pains but couldn’t fathom how to make it stop (such as go make food) and generally had so much sleep deprivation I couldn’t function. I’m now home for the holidays where, although I’ve a lot of work to do, I get fed dinner and am alone much of the day; able to reflect, meditate or catch up on sleep.
Last Wednesday, I attended the monthly Pagan pub moot in Brighton. We had a talking stick circle and I loved hearing and sharing views on reincarnation and how the local pagans connect with deity.
When I began my search for Paganism; I began with the Norse gods. I learned to cast the rune and read/write the furthark; which I still use to write down personal notes about my practise. However, in the last… four years pretty much; I’ve abandoned all practise and become more of the religion than the craft. In the past year and a half, I’ve been casting circle more and getting back on my feet with ritual.
I began with runes and a book called “A woman’s guide to the earth traditions” which led to me to native American spirituality and shamanism. I was open to Wicca throughout this and my bookshelves still reflect this. Upon discovering a Wiccan coven, I was immediately connected to both the Wiccan and Druid practises [the day after my first wiccan ritual; I went to a druid one].
Since then, I’ve felt most at home with the druid gatherings and go when I can. This year, I’ve even found my strength to tell my parents I won’t be home as soon as Uni ends on June 3rd. I’m staying for summer solstice (19th June) and the harvest celebrations (31st July), Buddhafield (13th July) and my… seven year anniversary of my dedication (June 4th).
Seven, as in pretty much anything magical, is important. And inspired by the number of Norse and Celtic deities mentioned at the pub moot and my possible trip to Ireland in September; I intend to focus a little more on those aspects of practise for my eighth year. My two favourite books are by David Clement-Davies and cover Fenris and Tor [Tyr]; creating Wolven gods for the main characters from aspects of Norse mythology.
I’m planning to come full circle with a year of practise and getting back to the Norse and Celtic roots while I continue my private and open Wiccan and Druid practises. I’ve become a believer; but I’ve stopped learning; stopped seeking those roots that keep me grounded. I’ve a daily practise, but I’m not a practitioner. And I intend to change that.