The Fierce Fire
Some of you may have noticed that since I spoke about my fiery nature, I’ve embraced the term of “blazing”. For me, it represents the ability to get through anything while still shining; still inspiring and helping people; yet still moving forward through obstacles, like a flame on petrol… controlled along a path so as to do little destruction, yet fast and bright enough to reach a destination [potential] and light the way.
I said that this year would be a time to construct on the focused foundation of last year. I wanted to build from a place of strength. For 2010, I called myself an Enchantress in order to be powerful but not volatile.
Back in December, I spoke about fierce compassion and how I didn’t want to fight my fiery nature. Two weeks ago, I wrote about support; why it’s so important and how I fiercely defend those who go against the grain. Then, I wrote about my relationship with the strong-woman stereotype in the form of Pagan Warrior Goddesses.
I grew up with strong women – the power rangers, gladiators, batwoman, charlie’s angels, lara croft, Belle from beauty and the beast; and then shows like Charmed, Buffy the vampire Slayer, movies such as AeonFlux, Catwoman, Electra, Kill Bill, Resident Evil, Underworld, and so on.
And I’ve come to some realisations about this compassionate strength, with its violence. I’ve been musing on the tagline of “blazing brightness with enchantress wings” in order to add a little fierceness power into that enchantress metaphor. Having realised that I don’t need to dampen my fire; I don’t want to let it control me as it did in my younger self.
Although I want to be that strong warrior, at this point, I’d rather inspire and illuminate potential for others. I already fight- I wake each morning and decide to make it through the day despite night terrors, PTSD-like symptoms and illogical phobias. Each day I fight to focus on the present and not to be defined by my past experiences. I don’t need to integrate myself with the fire of fighting; because it’s here; already alert and prepared.
What I want to re-awaken within me is my ability to illuminate; to enthuse things in a fiery way… from your passions to my potential to the wrongs in this world and the beauty of magic within it.
A Series of E-words
Enthuse.. from ‘entheo’ “in god” or “possessed by God”. To bring the gods into us/it/the subject.
I want to bring the gods into my potential and the magic of our beautiful world; and to bring them into the suffering and your passion so that we may heal, so that we may illuminate both the rights and wrongs.
Emblazement. Which isn’t a word.
It reminds me of Emblazon – to shield, and Empower – to give power or permission. Two aspects I want to bring into my consciousness.
It represents the ability to get through anything while still shining; still inspiring and helping people; yet still moving forward through obstacles. Perhaps uncontrolled, leaving destruction in my wake; but from destruction we can build afresh; much like Shiva Nata.
“Destroy, destroy, destroy. Destroy within yourself, destroy all around you. Make room for your soul and for other souls,. Destroy because all creation proceeds from destruction…”
– The Dance of Shiva, 1918 * Cf. Marcel Schwob, Is Livre de Monelle.
I emblaze; it’s what I do when my friends need a shoulder, a sounding board or someone to just listen. It’s what I do in my services, on forums and in blog comments. I find that defiance and I remind them that they can ignite that spark and follow their passion all the way to their potential.
What’s your defining word?