Conversation: Compassion and Politeness

Tags

blazing-crusade, breaking habits&labels, catharsis, Insights, reflection, stormy seas, WorkingOnStuff

When did it become more important to be polite than compassionate?

I’ve spent the first 18 years of my life in an unsafe state; switching between anxiety, panic attacks and depression. At university and through this blog, I found supportive places.

I joined an online Native American Spirituality group who confirmed to me “no, that isn’t okay.” I made friends with people who believed in the power of positive thinking and even had a lovely card and bright magnet saying I was part of something good. I sought out yoga and meditation, took my vows of attempting pacifism through druidry and began a gratitude practise.

I offered my home and my listening ear to those who needed it, including people I didn’t like – because they deserve to be listened to – no matter what my feelings were for them.

~

Now I’m an adult. I have a job and a flat. I’m meant to have “more control” of my life. I’m meant to be polite and kind, to balance me-time with social-time and having been told for 18 years to SAY NO and Don’t Give In To Peer Pressure – suddenly I’m supposed to go to this party and you must eat that last cake and well they’re family so you have to.

People are different, and it’s about time this world actually thought about that.

How is it fair to put me through anxiety, anger and a sleepless night just because you enjoy something? When did it become unacceptable to politely decline? When did it become okay for people to make snide remarks about things that have always been so? They are some things I have never liked. To say I “suddenly” don’t like it now after 20-odd years of not liking it is not appropriate. And rude. And shows you’ve not cared enough to listen before.

I’m so tired of trying to dodge the “don’t be so politically correct” comments as if being equal and compassionate is something negative.

I’m sick of not being listened to because they’re already speaking over me. There’s that phrase from Fight Club about people who: “actually listen to you instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.” But I’m noticing more and more that they don’t even bother with that courtesy.

They talk over me. And they do it as if it’s not incredibly rude and demoralising. As if I’m not an adult with the same rights as them. 

It saddens me to think that even the people who can be understanding and talk about being caring don’t take the time to listen or think about why someone is saying no.

And it worries me that you can’t just say “no, thank you” any more.

If you ask me to JUSTIFY why I’m saying no, you need to find a new friend. Because it’s not necessary and not always appropriate. Especially if I then trust you with the answer and you then try to change my mind – pressure me into it. So just don’t ask.

Is this just me? Or is this actually something important we need to be addressing? What’s more important – compassion or social-acceptability? 

I know which I value more.

Work in Progress: TMOS

Tags

connect, Insights, LiteratureLessons, metaphor, nanowrimo, novel, WorkingOnStuff

This morning, I had another lull at work. No one else was in the office, and I had two hours to kill.

I opened up Wings of Skell to edit it, but before I’d even found my place again, I was opening a new document, and typing out the details of an idea that I’d had Monday night.

I was originally tagged by Cheyenne in one of these “Work in Progress” Blog Hops and having done one for my other pieces, here’s one on this new project.

This is my final set of answers for now – focusing on the novel I began in 2010, and am working on into 2013 (mainly to stop me editing the previous two). It’s not as detailed as the previous two, but as it’s actually my work in progress, I thought I should post about it.

 

1) What is the working title of your book?

It’s currently called The Mists of Shade.

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?

Watching Pocahontas on Monday night reminded me of an idea I’d had a few months or years again. It wasn’t new, but this new idea then blossomed over the last three days as I tried to write it down and then ignore it.

3) What genre does your book fall under?

I’ve only written one chapter, but I’d say fantasy as a loose category for now.

4) Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

I only have two characters so far, and one of them’s an animal.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Kayla is a social worker in the county of Sussex, and looks from the outside as normal as anyone. But she has a gift that she cannot ignore. When she begins working on a case at work that stumps her colleagues, she discovers the war that’s going on under every person’s feet.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

At this point, neither. Both are possible though.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

I began this morning… It’s less than 3,000 words so far.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

I’ll let you know when I know what this one’s about.

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

One scene of Pocahontas, loosely.

10) What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

I already know what I want the cover to look like, and it’s EPIC.

Once again, I tag anyone who writes  Leave a link in the comments so I can read about your work and connect with you.

In Light,
Rose

2012 in Review

Tags

13/4, breaking habits&labels, connect, dancing-with-limitation, Insights, plans, processing, reflection, seasons, WorkingOnStuff

This year, my word was CONNECTION. As I love planning and list-making, I ended up with four categories of connection, and one sub-category per lunar month:

Connecting to Space:

–          Streamline & minimise

–          Set up a proper altar I can use for my pagan practise

–          Connect with the land every fortnight

–          Cut down on the processed foods; and get a good exercise routine going, and to keep my sleep and brain as healthy and effective as possible

Connecting to Legacy:

–          Understand my family tree and the heritage this land; and in exploring Celtic spirituality, reach out to the Germanic and Saxon paths which have influenced it

–          Explore and redefine my labels

–          Read 26 books this year

Connecting to Emotion:

–          Explore my feelings of non-violence and compassion toward others

–          Explore why I feel the need to express everything, spend more time in quiet and see where this fear of really stems from

Connecting to Practise:

–          Reconnect with spiritual energy (Reiki, meditation)

–          Practise redefinition by default, practising what I preach

–          Practise Paganism more often – prayer, meditation, ritual and OBOD study

–          Discover why I’ve chosen Druidry, and what I want to pass on to my children

As you may be able to tell from the lack of posts about this challenge, I didn’t do as well as I’d have hoped…

The Breakdown

Connecting to Space ~ I did make a lot of minimalism progress, moving into a flat and removing extraneous items. However, this needs to continue.

~ I did not set up a working altar for the whole year, but I did a lot of work in terms of ritual with others and I’m still working through the Gwers. I also completed Dianne Sylvan’s Spiritual Nomad course, which included work on my altar.

~ I did connect with the land often for the first six months, but by July, that faded. Now I have a car, I’ve noticed it’s even less likely to happen.

~ Processed foods dropped a couple of times in the year, but I need to get serious about this again. I lost motivation for exercising too, so I need to work out what made this ‘not matter’ before I try again.

Connecting to Legacy ~ The Gwers talk a bit about the legacy of this land, and the family tree is in progress.

~ I’ve done a LOT of work on labels and redefinition this year. From starting new placements, completing an MSc and driving to moving out to live alone and starting a new job.

~ I used to be an avid reader, but that slipped. So I planned to read one book per fortnight (26). At this rate, I’ll be at 24 by New Year’s Day. I might even consider that a success, as last year I only managed 12.

Connecting to Emotion ~ I’ve spent a lot of this year coming to terms with the fact I’m not naturally non-violent, but actually do seem to be naturally compassionate. I’ve spent a lot of time feeling “overly-sensitive” since trying to find my innate care for others.

~ The fear of silence is less of a fear now, though I haven’t yet found the stem of it.

Connecting to Practise ~ I reduced my meditation, but did more Reiki this year

~ I’ve been quite good in terms of practising what I preach; even releasing the Alchemy of Redefinition course.

~ The final two items about paganism and how I practise are still in progress. Studying for an MSc meant I didn’t study the Gwers as much as planned, and the travel meant missing group ritual and moots.

So the way I count that, I’d say that’s 7/13 partially done, but only 4 fully completed.

Extras

Despite these failing, I did loads of things that I didn’t expect to!

* I finished a novel and submitted it to a publisher
* I wrote the sequel to that novel, ready in case the publisher was interested
* I watched 68 educational television programmes
* I visited Brighton Buddhist Centre
* I spoke as part of group ritual
* I saw the Dalai Lama speak
* I read 24 books, which is double last year’s number!
* I created an e-course and a couple of freebies in the library
* I connected with two old friends for the first time in years

Two Thousand and Thirteen

So, where to?

This is difficult one. I’ve spent exactly six days in my flat, and just five days at my job. The idea of planning goals when I’m in a state of finding-my-feet feels counter-intuitive.

Also, having made such progress in 2011, I’m disappointed by missing out on so much.

So, I’m keeping it simple.

2.0.1.3

Two Words ~ Seeking Stars  (or Star-Seeking)

Zero Expectations

One Theme ~ Improvement

Three Goals ~

1. Reduce excess: food & ‘stuff’

i.      Cut down on junk food
ii.      Head for minimalism to the point where I’m content

2. Create: relaxation & exercise

i.      Meditate, dance & put systems in place to deal with work
ii.      Get healthy/fit so that I feel happy in my own strength again

3. Bury myself in learning

i.      Read books and watch educational programs
ii.      Continue home-study courses

How was your 2012?

In light,

Rose

The Next Big Thing: WIP

Tags

connect, Insights, LiteratureLessons, metaphor, nanowrimo, novel, WorkingOnStuff

Earlier in the week I wrote about my NaNoWriMo project of 2012: Flight of Skell, as I was tagged by Cheyenne in a Blog Hop called The Next Big Thing.

This is my final set of answers for now – focusing on the novel I began in 2010, and am working on into 2013 (mainly to stop me editing the previous two). It’s not as detailed as the previous two, but as it’s actually my work in progress, I thought I should post about it.

I’m also living in a flat with minimal (if any) internet so if it takes me a while to reply, I apologise, but I will try to catch up with the blog as soon as possible.

1) What is the working title of your book?

It’s currently called Resilience.

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?

I don’t remember. The idea is coming up to three years old, but I know it began with the idea of eye colour and the sense of power behind the human gaze.

3) What genre does your book fall under?

Oh I have no clue. It’s only 11k long right now, but it was planned as a literary piece so we’ll have to see. It’s definitely Sci-Fi or Fantasy based though.

4) Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

I don’t know. None of the characters are fully formed at this point, and one even shape-shifts so his appearance changes daily.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

The laws of the Sanctuary have been in place for fifty years, but when the Order of the Elements orders one of its workers to take in a child with hazel eyes, she has no choice but to break protocol.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

At this point, neither. Both are possible though.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

Heh… three years? We’re still in progress.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

I’ll let you know when I know what this one’s about.

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

The colour of human eyes.

10) What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

Again, we’ll see.

Once again, I tag anyone who writes 🙂 Leave a link in the comments so I can read about your work and connect with you.

In Light,
Rose

Work in Progress: FOS

Tags

connect, Insights, LiteratureLessons, metaphor, nanowrimo, novel, WorkingOnStuff

Last week I wrote about my main novel project of 2012: Wings of Skell, as I was tagged by Cheyenne in a Blog Hop called The Next Big Thing.

Much like writing the summary and query letters, despite being the second book in a series, I found it helpful to write about the book – so I’m back with another one.

I’m also living in a flat with minimal (if any) internet so if it takes me a while to reply, I apologise, but I will try to catch up with the blog at the weekend when I’m visiting my parents.

1) What is the working title of your book?

Flight of Skell is the second book in my series, following Wings of Skell. Once more, the titles have changed, but I’m still working out what to call the final one before I settle on the format for the first two.

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?

The first book began with two POVs. In the re-write, I cut out the second main character completely, and the book just felt right to end at a point earlier than I’d intended. So now I’ve second one which includes the second main character and continues the story, typing up a lot of loose ends. It also brings me to the point I intended to end on, and in typing one extra paragraph on the final day, the whole premise of book three has a new underlying theme. It was this little possibility that inspired me to write the second one – to find that thread.

3) What genre does your book fall under?

I believe it’s classed as a Young Adult Fantasy series. I’ve never had to classify it before, but I’m aiming at early twenties.

4) Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

I’m not sure I really have an answer for this, but maybe once the series is done and I’m looking at the fully-developed people and how they’ve changed I’ll be able to pair them with actors. As before, Alina could be played by Katie McGrath.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Alina made it to the throne, beating the odds and turning the tables on a faction battle. However, the story of her lineage is still a mystery and an old tale of the country’s origin spurs a whole new set of possibilities for her bond with Skell.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Not sure yet, but Wings of Skell is in the hands of a publisher. In case they say they’re interested, this series is on hold until February other than revisions. Following any rejection, agents will be next. Failing that, I have no problem self-publishing so the people who want to read it can.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

27 days. I know about a major revision though, so once I’ve let it sit for a month or two, I’ll be re-writing a pretty big chunk of it.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Not a clue, but the impact of an origin story reminds me of the Noble Warriors trilogy by William Nicholson.

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Knowing that Alina’s main motivation hadn’t been realised, and having a tiny glimpse at the end of the last book that I could access this thread – this tiny seed of an idea that will really make the final book have depth.

10) What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

Erm. It’s got falcons, necromancy, magic, and Fae… and a secondary character has an adorable black puppy who is incredibly cute. Seriously.

Once more, I tag anyone who writes 🙂 Leave a link in the comments so I can read about your work, too!

In Light,
Rose

Work in Progress: WOS

Tags

Insights, LiteratureLessons, nanowrimo, novel, WorkingOnStuff

It’s December. The rush of NaNo is over and my novels are resting. However, that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped being a writer.

I’ve returned to a story I began in 2010, and I remembered that I was tagged in a Blog Hop by another NaNoWriMo participant, Cheyenne. As I spent January-October writing the first book, then November writing the sequel, I’ll begin with the first one.

1) What is the working title of your book?
Wings of Skell is the first book in my series, though I’ve changed my mind on the title’s format for the whole series; I haven’t yet decided on the replacement for this story.

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?
The image of Alina in a dusty village with a bird of prey just appeared. I had to get to know her; and find out what their story was.

3) What genre does your book fall under?
Young Adult Fantasy

4) Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
Not a clue. Let me wait until the drafts are edited and I know which characters are actually appearing in each book. I guess the main character resembles Katie McGrath so that would work.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
(I hate this bit; it never feels I can do the book justice… I don’t think the first book’s very good but this makes it sound so much worse =P)
Alina, heir to the throne, flees her village when bandits come for her. Heading for the city, she seeks the faction known for helping those with magic and endeavours to take her rightful place as Queen. But the raptor who helped her flee has a connection to the Otherworld that she may not be able to escape.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
Ideally represented by an agent but as it’s currently in the hands of a publisher (no high hopes for the first attempt), who knows. Ideally, some form of official representation would be nice.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
Nine months, though of that, only about 2-3 months actual writing time. It spent a lot of time sitting.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
Not a clue. I’m not sure it’s even a finished story yet – the sequel brought up a lot of shifts I may need to account for.

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?
Skell. I had the image of Alina and him together, and of the kingdom she begins in. I just had to find out what that was all about.

10) What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
Depends what they like to read, but there’s magic, romance, murder, adventure and myth all rolled up, so if that’s your cup of tea, then great.

I quite like the format of this, so I’ll probably do another for the sequel, and possible for my current WIP too. We’ll see.

As for tagging, I tag Sorcha and anyone who reads this and writes 🙂 Leave a link in the comments so I can read it, too!

In Light,

Rose

NaNoWriMo 2012 ~ Finishing Early

Tags

13/4, dancing-with-limitation, Insights, LiteratureLessons, novel, reflection

I finished my novel last night.

I wrote the ending two scenes and the epilogue about 4 days ago, and then went back to fill in the 10k that was missing. Not the best way of writing, but it did have some positives.

Yesterday I finished the final scene (one about 5 scenes before the end) and though “I barely described anything. And I’ve killed off a villain who I only introduced two scenes ago. Really, he’s not much of a villain.”

So I wrote more – I added background and some actual details about the key places like rooms visited a lot and after finally reaching 79k – matching the 79,200 of the first book in the series, I found the 800 words weren’t too much of a stretch.

I still don’t really have a villain. But I’ve been writing these characters since January. I have written or planned the storyline in this world EVERY DAY since the beginning of September.

I love it, and I’m sick of it.

National Novel Writing Month

This is my forth year of “winning”, but it’s the first year I feel I’ve won fair and square. I didn’t plaugerise another storyline, didn’t have a character sing a song all the way through, including the chorus every time… and I didn’t panic on the final day and paste Finnish poems and their english translations into the “epilogue” (See last year for details).

I finished a storyline, with a few days to go, and on average that meant writing 2,900 a day. True, I’m living at home with no job, but this year I tracked my rough hours, and worked out that I only spent 65 hours writing. That’s an average of 2.4 hours per day, which could be fit into an evening after work, if necessary.

 

NaNoWriMo, for me, was the first step into realising I could create my future. It was my step in to Redefinition Alchemy and the first thing that made me go “if I want to be an author, why don’t I write a book?”

In hindsight, it sounds like a ridiculous comment; but thinking about the labels of “an avid reader” or ” a lover of artwork” – are you actually doing the things you want to be in your future?

I wasn’t.

 

Where To Go From Here

I’m not sure. I have a lot of ideas for the third book – possibly the last in the series; though to be honest, I’ve built up a world that I’d love to explore for many more hundreds of words. But the main characters from book 1 will end at book 3.

And the only way to improve my world-building skills is to practise.

 

Currently, I’m taking at LEAST four days off and then I’ll have a look at Resilience again – probably my favourite idea for a book ever; though I’ve tried to re-write the 20k I have about 15 times. I can’t find the right place to begin the story; so I’m going to try and plot it as if it’s a new book.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

 

In light,
Rose

Connecting: Best Friends

Tags

13/4, breaking habits&labels, connect, Insights, processing, reflection

Hope you don’t mind me posting this, Rach.

Today, my parents and I helped a friend of the family move house. Her daughter, Rachel, was there to help.

I think my mum met her at a mother & baby group, but wherever it was, her daughter and I became best friends in nursery school, and stayed like that until I went to secondary school when I was 11.

We did everything together; from learning to ride bikes (two of us on one bike was a common sight) and roller skates to sleepovers and daily fights. Rach even broke her foot the same week I broke my toe (in completely unrelated incidents I must add) and we spent two weeks at play-time sitting together on a wall outside our classrooms.

When we went to separate secondary schools, she made friends (and had friends from our old school) while I went to a private, all-girls place with only one girl from my school; who I barely knew. I made two friends in my five years there, and then went to college and made two more friends (one is now my partner, so he doesn’t really count). Of those four people, only one contacts me when I try to connect.

So in 2005, I discovered online friends and am very grateful to the three wonderfully stable best friends I still have: Kami and Josh in America, and Amma who lives in the nearest big town to where I grew up. Through Skype and smartphones, I’ve been able to see a live woodchuck on the campus of an American University and hear the laughter of these friends, despite the miles between us. I meet up with Amma an average of once every 2 years, and I speak to Kami or Josh once every 3-4 weeks on Skype.

 

Re-connecting

This morning, I met that girl again; that best friend from my childhood, Rachel. That sweet and pretty little girl who rode on my bike and whose hair caught fire due to sparklers (I think I just laughed, but we were only 3 and 4)… is now a beautiful woman living in a flat with her partner and a full-time job and car. And she studies at her job to boot! I’m in awe of how much she has achieved, as I still remember her, aged 3, crying with her hair on fire.

It felt awkward to say hi to her again, as I’ve spoken barely 20 words to her in the last ten years. This grown up lady who I’d vaguely heard updates about from her mother, and had seen the odd picture of on facebook, sounded so different to those memories I had.

But after carrying heavy furniture together down some stairs, into a van, onto a trolley and up to a storage place; I was hugging her and we were taking photographs together. I expected so much to have changed in that decade, but after 3 hours together, it was like I had my best friend back. It still felt odd to hug her, but it’s something I used to value more than anything; the feel our arms behind each other’s back; because that’s how best friends used to stand together. United against anything; inseparable.

Connections

I made a goal at New Year to make sure I connect with people more. I’ve made a consistent effort to make it to the pagan meet-ups, to celebrate the seasons and to honour the tradition of seeing my friend from college.

I’ve tried to see the possibilities and the potential in everything, and to trust that some people are good examples of the human race. I grew up with the lesson “people are mean and you need to be meaner to succeed” and it’s taken a lot of time and experiences to redefine that: to recognise that some people will give, just ‘because’.

 I haven’t had a close friend I can regularly see and hug and laugh with for ten years. And in re-connecting with my old best friend, I’m realising that’s something I’ve really needed. Especially as my partner’s three counties away and I’ll soon be moving to a new town.

I’m sure Rachel has changed, just as I have. But she stills laughs at my jokes and we still say the same things. We were almost finishing each other’s sentences again.

And now I feel sad, because I’m leaving and I’ve lost ten years of that. I hadn’t fully realised how much of a hole not having a best friend leaves.

So I’m hoping to change that by seeing her again before I move into my flat; and maybe when I return for weekends or Christmas. If nothing else, it’s a lesson about connection I’d rather learn now, than in thirty years time when we may have lost touch forever.

In light,

Rose

Sharing my #InsurancePoll Story

Tags

connect, fitness, Insights

Ellie Di posted a story the other day about her insurance policy. It seems to have started with Amanda Palmer’s insurance poll which began on Twitter.

I wasn’t going to write about it, because my health is covered by the NHS… something which the government are phasing out and hasn’t cost me anything yet because I’ve been a student.

However.

On Friday, I went to the dentist. I spoke briefly about my first visit to this dentist over at my other blog, but today, I have a lot of rants I want to voice.

There will be swearing in this, and it’s all my own opinion. I’m also still pissed about it, so in two weeks, these views may dissipate a little.

As I’m responding to a poll; these are the questions:

1)       COUNTRY?! 2) profession? 3) insured? 4) if not, why not, if so, at what cost per month (or covered by job)?

My answers are: UK, soon-to-be-family-support-worker, NHS. This current piece of dental treatment will probably cost £500 overall.

The National Health Service

When the coalition decided to do away with our NHS, I fought. I’m still fighting in little ways – I attended a march, I applied for NHS jobs, I still sign petitions, and I try to only go to a health centre if I really need something.

Of course the waiting lists are out the door and the treatment can be shocking. I would probably say the chance of having the wrong leg amputated is a good 1 in a 500 if not more… in all seriousness.

Access to Files

My main issue today, is that they don’t have access to any records. We find it iffy to buy a used car without the service history, but the fact that the dentist numbed my mouth so I couldn’t speak, and then asked me questions about my medical history… then prescribed me tablets when I can’t swallow tablets and I had to really emphasise “I must not see the needle”.

Especially asking me questions he can see answers to – he’s taken an X-ray of my mouth, I told him I moved dentists because the other didn’t fucking tell me he was taking a fucking tooth out and I get asked if I’ve had this tooth out because it’s not showing on the X-ray and also doesn’t appear to be in my mouth.

READ THE FUCKING NOTES.

This is not news; when I had Glandular Fever/Tonsillitis and had to go from A&E to out of hours doctors to staying three days in hospital over Christmas, then to two different doctors in GP surgeries… and they all KNEW what I can and can’t take and which drugs I was (by this point) now immune to.

Despite staying in the same dentist’s surgery, the new dentist they employed didn’t know my file and now I’ve moved and filled out the health form again they STILL don’t know.

I would be furious about it, but I’m shaking and crying instead.

The Story

I have insurance; the bog standard same-as-everyone-else insurance. I only paid £7 for a prescription of drugs I’m struggling to take. I should have checked – I should have asked the dentist if it’s soluble and then checked the pharmacist gave me soluble. But with a numb mouth and tears still drying on my cheeks I didn’t think to divulge my entire history to every person I met.

And it annoys me that the default is I have to do that. And I will remember it in future.  Clearly, I must tell my medical history to every single medical professional I meet. Makes me wonder what the hell they write all those notes for.

But when I couldn’t breathe, swallow water or sleep because I began to drown in my own saliva – I could go to the hospital, despite it being boxing day, and it didn’t cost my parents anything to have those 7 different drugs. I was even given special circumstances for the exams two weeks after I got out of hospital.

Generally, the fact that I don’t need to worry about paying for an ambulance has never occurred to me ~ because if you need an ambulance, something is serious – and a human life is priceless. But discussing my granddad’s Alzheimer’s and the side effects of his medication; in view of their visit to see his daughter in Germany – I was told about the cost of ambulances there too.

With the USA bringing in an NHS and the UK Prime Minister slowly destroying our NHS, a lot of health policies are changing.

Dentists are the only service I have had to pay for*. And only since half-way through my BSc.

*Although in the last 6 months the privatisation has led to charging for things that have never, ever before been charged for under the NHS scheme.

Opening the Story Pages

As Amanda Palmer said, no one knows the state of other’s health stories until they are told.

When I joined the revolution of “we are the 99%” I read hundreds of pages of pictures; telling people’s stories of choosing between rent and cancer drugs. I spoke to my two best friends in America; about their health plans and how they balance the minimum wages of three jobs and schooling just to keep themselves alive.

So that’s my story, and that’s the UK system as a newly-out-of-education person sees it.

I’m worried about the future, because the NHS is getting worse in every way – waiting lists are longer, training is poorer, standards are dropping, and for all this worse service they’re beginning to charge.

But right now, I don’t have to choose between having this tooth out and buying my iron tablets.

What’s your health insurance story? Share it in the comment, write your own blogs and/or tell it on Twitter using the hashtag #insurancepoll:

1) country? 2) profession? 3) insured? 4) if not, why not, if so, at what cost per month (or covered by job)?

In Light,
Rose

On Being a Writer

Tags

Autumn, connect, Insights, LiteratureLessons, novel, plans, potential, processing

This afternoon I found out that the e-portal was closed to new submissions, and wrote a post here.

Since then, Harper Voyager apologised for the technical glitch and I have now officially submitted my novel to them.

A month ago, only my mum had read my work. And only half a novel’s worth. Today, I submitted a novel to a publisher.

However, the points I made below are still true, so I’ll leave the original post here.

* * * * * * * * * 

Last night, the submission portal at Harper Voyager Publishing closed to un-agented manuscripts.

I didn’t make it.

* * *

The website said 1st – 14th October, opening at 00:01 on Monday the 1st.
Like so many, I assumed that would mean it would close at 23:59 Sunday – not 23:59 Saturday.

They were asking for polished pieces, which mine isn’t. (Well, the first half is relatively polished.) But I knew it wouldn’t hurt to send it off – in case a miracle happened.

I didn’t get that chance.

* * *

But I have a finished novel.

And a query letter. And an idea of how to write a synopsis.

I joined a new writing community; which although I find faults with the limits for a free membership (and can’t afford such a high price for paid), gave me access to about 10 people’s views on my work.
I had access to other people’s query letter formats. And examples of my ‘competition’ specific to my genre.

I got to share my work with my mum; something I was too afraid to do before.

I got to share the journey with my friend and fellow author.

And I wrote 18,500 words in five days. Despite having no idea how this re-write would end.

I turned a 31,000 re-write draft into an 80,000 word completed piece in less than a month. And I have a foundation for a sequel – possibly my nanowrimo piece for this year.

My last “completed novel” is 92,000 words; but full of plot holes. Some chapters still have “add scene about X here” in them. And I hate how the plot is going.

* * *

For this novel, I found a way to push through the hatred for my own characters, after forcing myself to write through periods of desolation. I was home alone for a week with my writing, and I still ate vegetables alongside the extra junk food. I didn’t drink alcohol, despite wanting to most of the time (all the best writers did). I learned that making a mental appointment with my muse actually seems to WORK.

Through sharing my chapters, I found that I can write, and that people like my work.
Through sharing my chapters, I found that I read other people’s work and began to hate my writing. It wasn’t as good as theirs.
Through sharing my chapters, I was able to change the bits I hated and found I almost liked it again.

Now I’m looking at NaNoWriMo ideas for the sequel.

It seems that for this week at least, I found a way to be a writer.